You are the average of 5 people you spend time with

We all have friends, family, well-wishers and social circles with whom we spend our maximum time. Jim Rohn quotes several times that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.

In this article, we will analyze whether this quote stands true for everyone or not.

I was reading my 6-year-old cousin’s storybook (don’t ask me why) which relates to this topic very well and so I am sharing the story here. I am cutting it short so that it doesn’t sound much kiddish.

The Story

A farmer while on his way back home sees an egg lying on the grass. He keeps the egg in the chicken nest thinking it’s a chicken egg. The mother hen takes equal care of all the eggs. Some weeks later, chicken babies emerge from the eggs.

One eagle baby emerges from the egg which the farmer had kept in the nest. This thing wasn’t understood by the eagle or by the hen. The hen feels that the eagle is her child and the child feels that the hen is her mother. Therefore, they start living together.

The eagle grew up and learned to do all the things that chickens do. He used to feel a little incomplete because he was unknown to the fact that he was an eagle and not a chicken.

One day, he looked up at the sky and found a majestic powerful bird flying high. It was an eagle. He thought it would be great if he could fly like an eagle. He tried flying the same way, but couldn’t even reach half the way as he was trained under a chicken who can’t fly.

Every time he failed; the mother hen convinces him that he cannot fly as he isn’t made for it. The baby eagle was convinced that he can never fly as he is a chicken and is made to live his life on the ground, not on the sky.

Just like the baby eagle, even you might have thought of becoming something in your life – be it a businessman, musician, celebrity or an entrepreneur. But we fail to convert our dreams into reality.

You are the average of 5 You are the average of 5

Why? because we stay in chicken mentality or around people with chicken mentality who will tell you that you cannot do it.

Are you the average of the 5 people you spend most of the time with?

Let’s break it down to even more simple and understandable concepts.

You will spend your maximum time with your friends, family or social circles (online friends). Why do you spend so much time with them? Mostly because you like them and you feel a good connection around them.

This means that whenever you’re sad or confused, you will ask them for suggestions and advice. You will value their advice and accept what they tell you.

If these people are of chicken mentality, they will advise you not to try new things. But what if you are an eagle and capable of flying high?

Words have the power to influence people. If your friends justify that you should not try a particular thing, you’ll start believing that you’re not worth it. You won’t do it even if you have the capability of doing it.

Your personality adapts the personality of the people you spend most of the time with. You tend to copy their expressions or behaviors unconsciously.

Choosing to spend time with right people will also help you to stay happy, active and alert about your surroundings.

That’s why it’s said, choose your friends wisely.

“Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.”

Chaplain Melancon

You are what you watch & read. Don’t believe this? Have a look at this small video where a girl read an article about signs of a perfect boyfriend.

Conclusion

I completely believe in both the Quotes – you are what you read/think/watch and you’re the average of 5 people you spend most of the time with. I will tell you my case, see if you can relate to it.

I work in an IT company where the average age of maximum employees is 30 years (whereas I am 24). Everyone is either getting married or having babies and I am like WTF?

After working for a year with them, I have learned to make mature decisions, maintain a balance between work-personal life, provide useful solutions to the client at a given time frame and talk about politics.

You can only gain knowledge from the expert in that field. These experienced people helped me to excel in my professional career and taught me a lot about personal development.

It is true that people influence you to become what you are today. If you feel like the baby eagle, surrounded by chicken mentality, then it’s the time you change your circle.

You can either

Meet people of your interest through Meetup. An application & website where you can be a member of a similar community.

Or

Follow people of your interest in social media. Unfollow all the useless contacts you have in your following list. Search for people of interest in your area. Follow them and watch the content they post.

Further, you can read the article – You are NOT the average of 5 people you spend most of the time with by Davi Burkus, medium.com. The author concludes that – You are the average of all the people you surround yourself with.

A question for you – Are you a Chicken or an Eagle?

Share | Bookmark | Follow

Share the post

2 thoughts on “You are the average of 5 people you spend time with”

  1. Hey Drishti,
    This is a great post. The way you portrait your content, its just amazing! All your hard work is much appreciated.

    Reply

Leave a Comment